HELLBOY, JR #2

One issue couldn't contain all the wackiness and misadventures of lil' Hellboy and all his weird friends, so here's another helping! Bringing together the diverse talents of Bill Wray, Hilary Barta, and Stephen DeStefano, with the ultimate Hellboy Jr. story by Mike Mignola, this one is a guaranteed knee slapper. Why waste your money on cheap imitation? With this gang of hooligans at the helm, they'll offend everybody! The House of Candy Pain Still angry about having to eat maggots, Hellboy Junior and Donnie travel to the Forbidden Forest of Feastible Dwellings to find food. They found a house of meat, but it was being guarded by mob trolls. They found a house of vegetables, but were uninterested. They found a house of candy and while they were eating they discovered that a transvestite witch lived there. They were drugged and imprisoned by the he-witch. Donnie was taken off to be turned into a handsome husband for the witch, and Hellboy Junior was saved for their wedding meal. Donnie talked the witch out of eating him and they only removed his legs to eat. Later that night, Donnie went down to the dungeon to restore Hellboy Junior's legs with a set of frog legs and some of the witch's magic. Hellboy Junior wanted to flee back to hell, but Donnie wouldn't forsake his sacred vows to the man-witch. As a side-effect of the spell Hellboy Junior began to grow, and ate the candy house as well as its inhabitants. Sparky Bear The government did something to Sparky to make him the ideal spokesperson for forest fire prevention. Sparky lived amongst the humans and kept the other bears in line. The other bears considered him "the man" and would no longer hang out with him. Sparky found a human woman. The government forced him to keep the marriage a secret, and eventually his wife left him. She went on tour and wrote a book about Sparky. After being forbidden to see a human woman again Sparky lost it, preventing forest fires with deadly force. The rangers and other bears attempted to end sparky, but he was stronger, smarter, and angrier. He left for the city and disassembled and rebuilt his jeep in his living room. Plagued by nightmares of the other forest creatures sparky eventually died of the fumes of his jeep. Huge Retarded Duck Huge retarded duck's mother and father fought over his inability to live like a normal adult. His mother slashed his father's spine and he ran away. Out in the wild a pack of ducks mistreated and abused him. When his mother left to find him the ducks attempted to rape her. Huge retarded duck lost control and killed the other ducks. After the incident, Huge Retarded Duck married his mother (which is apparently allowed in duck society). Hellboy Junior Gets a Car Hellboy finds Gorgalac building a car. He convinces Gorgalac to let him test drive the car, and pressing the speed boosters, rockets himself into the home of the car's buyer. Hellboy Junior falls into the ocean and is eaten by a giant fish. A pack of demons caught the fish and killed it. They cooked and ate the fish including Hellboy Junior.

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